Sometimes dealing with the fact that I have Celiac disease is hard for me. It's hard for me to be so blatantly different. It's hard for me to sit at a table while all of my friends share a meal together... and I eat a Larabar or Nut Thins and try to not stand out like a sore Celiac thumb. It's hard for me to not take on the persona of "Celiac Disease." I feel like that's who I've become. It's constantly on my mind. "Is this gluten free", "I wonder how they prepared this", "Is it safe to eat food in this kitchen that has gluten flying around it all the time", "How in the world can I go to dinner at a friend's house", "How can I be a good friend to this person when I am constantly trying to protect myself", "In how many different ways can this situation make me sick," etc. I find myself isolating myself because no else IS Celiac disease. Lately, the question that's been on my mind a lot is "who am I really within the realm of Celiac disease?" because, let's be honest... I'm not JUST Celiac disease. Yes, it does influence a lot of my decisions and account for a lot of fear and anxiety, but I'm done letting it steal my joy. I am NOT Celiac Disease. I have Celiac Disease. I am a Jesus loving wife, friend, teacher, coffee lover, reader, Facebook addict, cook, shopper, crafty when I want to be, woman who has to think very hard about the foods I am around and put into my body. I will not apologize for protecting myself from getting sick. I'll do my best to not let it steal my joy, but I will protect myself. My health is important. It's important to me, it's important to my husband, it's important for the children we want to have someday. It's not just the short term I'm protecting myself for. Yes, that is important too-- but not protecting myself now can lead to cancer and other major issues as I age. I'm afraid of that. It's scary. So, I do worry about protecting my body.
But, I know I need to stop letting it consume me. I need to stop letting "feeling different" upset me. I need to stop being sad for myself. I am NOT Celiac disease. I am me-- and that's good.
Sam
I agree with you! When we visited you guys in September, I wouldn't have even known you had Celiac disease. It's just a part of who you are and gives you an opportunity to learn new recipes and cook delicious meals! Other than being a Colt fan (hehe), you're no different from the rest of us. :-)
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